“One cannot pour from an empty cup” The physical. (Part 2 of 2)

Yesterday i talked about my lame but honest reasons for finding myself in a situation where I’m not at my best. You can read it here if you so like…

Today is about me listing my my physical symptoms, the signs that have been lingering and accumulating to the point of me saying:

“Enough is Enough”

I need to have them somewhere so that i can look back and remind myself how i feel when i neglect myself, my health and my wellbeing. To remind myself that although long term i may have these issues, there are not permanent. They are fixable. I can improve. I just have to take responsibility. And i feel that somewhere in my list, most people will relate to something i describe. I mean, I’m pretty sure I’m not the only person in the world feeling this way. I just have to look around me or on social media to see hundreds of thousands of people making decisions with their health that will compromise their ability to feel as awesome as possible.

So, heres The List.

  • Fatigue, FATIGUE, FATIGUE!!! Oh the tiredness, the all consuming ‘i cannot function not even if you paid me’ tiredness. Im talking bed at 7:30pm/8pm every night (and thats pushing it), naps during the day if given half a chance, the repeated tapping of the snooze button on the alarm clock, the sick days taken just to catch up on a few zzz’s. Yet still never feeling that you’ve had enough sleep. I don’t recall a time i wasn’t tired and i can’t blame my child for this entirely.
  • Brain fog (or zombie stare). Ever sat somewhere and just thought ‘i have no clue whats happened over the past 60 minutes’? Thats pretty much me with every waking minute, I’m in a fixed state of unawareness. I’m there, but I’m not there-there. And if someone tries to explain something to me or tell me a story, it barely even gets in one ear, let alone in one ear and out the other! This is not great whilst trying to study for a degree believe me.
  • Bloating. Heavy and uncomfortable and it will pop up like an angry pufferfish.
  • Heavy Limbs. I guess this can be lumped in with with the fatigue and the brain fog but some days it feels like moving my body is like dragging huge bags of awkwardly shaped sand around.
  • Joint Aches. It all aches, everywhere.
  • Skin. Lets just say unpredictable! Im talking acne, back-ne, patches of insatiably itchy dry skin, peeling skin, un-hydrateable skin, oil slick skin. Every day is a guessing game, but no matter the skin type its all grey, dull, crepey and old before its time. Not to mention the panda looking black circles under the eyes.. oh the joys!
  • Hair. Falling out, oily, breaking, dull permanently in a ponytail to hide its sins.
  • Nails. Splitting, peeling, generally useless so covered with expensive gel extensions and hard wearing polish in the prettiest of colours.
  • Anxiety. Only makes an appearance when things are at their worst, it comes back when I’m not eating well and not using exercise as an outlet. It can vary from a niggling feeling in the back of the brain that makes me chew my fingernails a little too much, to an overwhelming feeling of incapability that means ill be staying in the house all day as leaving the front door seems too daunting an action.
  • Emotional state. I get moody, i get grumpy, i get lack pizazz, i cry at sad things on the internet. Whilst some of this may be hormonal (thank you Mother Nature), i feel i know my own body well enough to see when it stems from my lifestyle choices.
  • Weight… I uhmed and ahhed about putting this on here as i do not have an issue with my weight, In fact, according to my BMI i am at the perfectly adequate weight for my height and i do not desire to lose any weight. However, i do know that i have an 8lb window of leverage that fluctuates up and down dependant on my food choices, dehydration, lack of movement, general laziness. Maybe i could aim for a more stable positioning so i don’t have to choose between my “fat jeans” and my “normal jeans”.

There is lots more detail i would love to add to this specific blog post, especially from a nutritics point of view but i feel for now I’ve gone on long enough. In time, over the coming blog posts i will explain more and look into further detail about where i need to make the changes to give myself the boost i need. I really hope you will stick around to read what i have to say.

Opti.mum x

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